


I Am The One

by Cinnamon1895



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post Reichenbach, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 17:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamon1895/pseuds/Cinnamon1895
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am the one who loved you, I am the one who stayed. I am the one, and you walked away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am The One

 

 

 

This is my first attempt at a songfic. The Song is I Am the One Reprise from Next to Normal. I do not own that, or Sherlock. If I owned Sherlock, he and John would have banged in the back of Mycroft's car by now.

 

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

_I am the one who loved you. I am the one who stayed_

"One more miracle for me, Sherlock. Don't be dead." The words tear a hole in his chest, but he can't help but beg. Even if he knows it won't help, he has to try. The silent response shouldn't hurt as much as it does. He's speaking to a memory, a ghost of an angel in the wind. The angel he never abandoned, abandoned him.

 

 

 

_I am the one who knows you. I am the one you fear_

Silent nightmares of flashing faces mock him every night. Detective, criminal, detective, angel. Pale skin against a background of clear blue sky. An angel without wings, unable to fly. He jerks awake, reaching out into the darkness, too late to catch his angel.

 

 

 

_I am the one who's always been here_

Fun's over, you need to come back. MH

John needs you. MH

Sherlock? MH

 

 

 

_I am the one who cried, I am the one who watched while you died_

Cold metal breaks his skin, letting out the pressure building up in his veins. Salty tears and a doctor's precision cleanse the wound; cleanse the things he never said, should have said, could have said. On a body littered with scars, what's one more night of regret? It's funny how addictions start sometimes. He can't help it, he's so  _bored_ without his brilliant angel.

So bored.

And so lonely.

 

 

 

_I am the one who loved you_

He meets a woman in a bar. Accepts her invitation for a drink, forgetting her name as soon as he hears it. Forces himself to laugh at her  _stupid_ jokes. Gets in the cab and holds her hand. Goes home with her, kisses her, fucks her. Whispers a name against her skin. Goes home and vomits afterwards, unable to get the creeping feeling of her claws off his skin. He falls into a restless sleep, dreaming of his consulting angel.

 

 

 

_But you've always known who I am_

I'm not dead. Let's have dinner. SH

 


End file.
